Caregiver stress can happen as a result of the emotional, mental, and physical strain that occurs while taking care of another person. This type of stress can lead to burnout — a form of exhaustion that happens when you’ve drained your energy, strength, and resources.
As a caregiver for someone with depression, it can be a challenge to make time for your own well-being. But it’s important to remember that you can’t give your loved one the best quality care if you don’t maintain your own health.
The best caregivers carve out time to focus on themselves first so that they can handle busy and changing schedules.
“Ensuring they’re taking care of their own needs is vital,” says Amy Sullivan, PsyD, the director of Behavioral Medicine and Research at Cleveland Clinic’s Mellen Center in Cleveland. “It’s the airline stewards’ analogy of: In the event of an emergency, be sure to put on your oxygen mask first before putting on the mask of anyone next to you.”
Avoiding Caregiver Burnout
Most caregivers come into this role with little to no caregiving experience, Sullivan says.
“Oftentimes, they use the ‘learn-as-you-go’ approach, which may cause more stress,” she says.
If you’ve recently taken on a caregiving role (or if you’ve been doing it for a while and are starting to feel overwhelmed), now is the time to act. Take steps early to help you avoid burnout and better prepare for the unexpected challenges that often happen.
Gregory Scott Brown, MD, psychiatrist and chair of the American Psychiatric Association Council on Communications, highlights the importance of balance while caring for a loved one with depression.
“Oftentimes this means not trying to do everything all at once,” he says. “Ask for help from a family member, the medical treatment team, or a friend. Take shifts if you can so that you can take some time to get away. And forgive yourself if you do get it ‘perfect’ all the time.”
Quick Stress-Relief Rituals to Try
Healthy caregiving revolves around structured care. Routines set up to care for your loved one and habits set in place to take care of yourself can make an unpredictable job run more smoothly.
Here are some quick exercises you can add to your caretaking routine to lower your chances of burnout.
Box breathing
This is a type of deep breathing that’s often used in yoga. With this method, you breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for four counts, exhale for four counts, and hold your breath for four more counts after you exhale. The term “box breathing” is meant to remind you of this four-by-four method.
Box breathing can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system. This is a part of your nervous system that deals with rest and digestion. When you do breath work, you trigger your vagus nerve — an important part of your parasympathetic nervous system. This helps lower your blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels (a stress hormone), helping the body relax in stressful times.
“Intentional breathing, like box breathing, can help us slow our breath rate with deeper inhales and exhales, which is a good place to start in a breathwork practice,” Brown says. “I recommend starting with box breathing and then diving into 4-7-8 breathing, alternate nostril breathing, or forms of resistance breathing like pranayama breathing.”
Cold water reset
A cold water reset, or cold plunge, is when you take a quick dip into an ice bath. Studies suggest that doing this triggers processes within your central nervous system that are linked to mental health benefits, such as better mood and overall well-being. Cold plunges can also boost your motivation and alertness, which can allow you to feel more energized and less nervous, anxious, and stressed.
These effects can be beneficial if you carry constant tension from your job as a caretaker. You can visit a cold-plunge center (many fitness studios have them) or use your bathtub at home. For at-home cold water resets, fill your bathtub with cold water and ice cubes. Your water should be 50 F or colder. Fully or partially submerge yourself in the tub for only a few minutes, at most. Most people start at 30 seconds of cold plunging and work their way up to 5-10 minutes.
60-second shoulder release
This exercise is a form of progressive muscle relaxation, which is when you tense your muscles and then release them. Data shows that these types of movements can help ease physical and emotional stress.
You can make use of this method, wherever you are, in as little as one minute.
For the first movement, sit upright in your chair. Bend your elbows and place your fingertips on your shoulders. Breathe in deeply. As you breathe out, roll your shoulders to the front in circular movements. Then, repeat this in the other direction, rolling your shoulders backward while you breathe. Do this for 30-45 seconds.
For the second movement, you’ll allow your arms to hang by your sides. Breathe in and move your shoulders up toward your ears. Breathe out strongly while you quickly drop your shoulders to their resting position. Do these two more times.
Pair these two movements together anytime you need to ease tension.
“Think of it as a bottom-up approach to tackling stress. Instead of a cognitive (mental) way to manage stress, this is more of a physiological (physical) way,” says Illiana Navarra-Bueno, a Michigan-based psychotherapist. “Sometimes, we are so used to holding stress or tension that we don’t recognize we’re doing so, unless we bring attention to it.”
5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise
Many people use this exercise to ease anxiety or panic. If you feel overwhelmed by your daily caregiving tasks, this method can help you avoid the added stress that anxiety often brings.
First, focus on your breath. Breathe deeply, slowly, and take long inhales and exhales. When you begin to relax a bit, you can start the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise.
“5-4-3-2-1 works to help us shift our attention by recognizing present moment sensory input. This helps activate the prefrontal cortex to reduce amygdala-driven threat responses. The amygdala is the part of the brain where fight or flight is processed,” says Navarra-Bueno. “Caregivers should use this when they’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or feeling overwhelmed.”
Body scan meditation
This meditation method focuses on different parts of your body, one by one. You’ll start with your feet and work your way up to your head. You won’t tense or touch your muscles — you’ll simply think about how each part feels without giving any meaning to this feeling.
Lie on your back with your legs straight out and arms by your sides. Start with a focus on your breath to relax. Then, as you think about each body part, imagine your breath moving into that area. Focus on each body part for at least three to five seconds. Once you’re done, relax in stillness and finish with a simple stretch.
“I encourage people to set random alarms throughout the day that remind them to do a body scan,” Navarra-Bueno says. “Before bed is a good time to practice.”
Other Things That Can Help With Caregiver Stress
In addition to these stress-relieving rituals, Brown suggests daily habits to protect your mental health.
“I often discuss the ‘Five Pillars of Self-Care’: sleep, spirituality, breathwork, movement, and nutrition,” he says. “Be sure you’re eating nutrient-dense meals, moving your body, creating time for mindfulness and meditation, and focusing on optimal sleep. You don't need to do all of these at once. Focus on one pillar at a time.”
When to get more help
It’s crucial to get more help if you need it. Remember, if you’re not able to properly care for yourself, you won’t be able to care for your loved one.
“Caregivers are asked to do a variety of roles … on top of their own job. They very rarely get a break to take care of their own needs,” Sullivan says. “This can have significant impacts on the caregiver, including on their own health and well-being, social health, spiritual health, and financial health. Yet, they rarely seek help for themselves.”
You may need to seek extra help if you:
- Are always stressed, overwhelmed, or feel like you can’t keep up
- Are not able to take care of yourself (skipping meals, missing your own doctor appointments, or unable to keep up with your self-care routines)
- Are not able to get enough sleep
- Feel lonely or cut off from the outside world
- Have had financial trouble (due to missed work or other large expenses from caretaking)
Extra help can come in many forms. You may want to add a professional caretaker to your and your loved one’s routine. For those with depression, this can look like a specialized home health caretaker. This can help reduce your load, and you can focus on your own needs. Speak to your loved one’s doctor to see what options are available.
You might also want extra help for yourself. If you are concerned for your own mental health, it’s important to reach out to a professional. A psychiatrist can help in situations that feel heavy. If you’ve felt hopeless, worthless, or have had thoughts of harming yourself, it’s very important to seek care from a psychiatrist. They can help you form strategies to fight burnout or depression.
Takeaways
Caring for someone with depression can take a serious toll on your body and mind. The emotional, physical, and mental strain can build up over time and lead to burnout. Taking care of your own health is crucial, not optional.
To lower stress and prevent burnout, pace yourself, ask for help, and don’t try to do everything at once. Simple rituals like deep breathing, short relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques can help lower stress levels. Healthy habits, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and keeping up with self-care, also play a key role.
If caregiving starts to affect your health or daily life, ask for support to ensure you and your loved one continue to get the care you both deserve.
