Knowledge is power. Learn all about your IVF process so you understand as much of the process as possible. Make a list of your questions before you go to appointments and address them all with your doctor. Ask for resource recommendations for further reading and research.

IVF involves a lot of waiting, which is a major anxiety producer. When you feel your anxiety level go up, have tools in place to help slow down your breathing, lower your blood pressure, and create a feeling of peace. Meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises, and guided imagery are all effective ways to tap into and cultivate your inner calm.

Whether it’s gentle stretching, daily walks, yoga, or a sweat-filled indoor cycling class, find the type of physical activity that can dose you with endorphins, get your blood flowing, and boost your mood. Check with your doctor if you’re worried about doing certain types of exercise as you go through IVF.

Everyone’s journey will be different, but talking to other people going through the process can help you feel less alone. Organizations like RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and your reproductive medicine clinic are good places to search for support groups online or in person.

IVF is a very personal process, and you may feel very private and protective about who you share it with. Having one or two trusted friends and family who know what you’re going through can be helpful when you get news — whether good or hard — so you’re not shouldering it or celebrating it alone.

While it’s not possible to control everything in your life, you can make choices that keep things less complicated. Hold off on big decisions, projects, or other major life changes that would create more stress for you. Reserve your mental and emotional energy for your IVF process.

This is a uniquely challenging time for your mental health, and professional therapy can be a lifeline. Trained counselors, psychologists, or psychiatrists can lead you through talk therapy or other techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy to ease symptoms of anxiety and depression. Ask your doctor for a referral — many reproductive clinics offer mental health services as part of their care.

IVF can be a time- (and mind-) consuming pursuit. Reserve some of your bandwidth for the things you enjoy, such as creative hobbies, social connections, time with pets, or outdoor activities. The things that give your life meaning can help you stay grounded.

Talking and thinking about having a baby can easily take over your life when you’re going through IVF. It’s helpful to set some limits for yourself so you don’t lose yourself in the process. Decide on how long you’ll spend reading about it each day, or having conversations with your partner, and stick to it.

Your clinic or IVF care team shouldn’t add to your emotional toll — they should be a source of support. If you’re confused or feel dismissed or unheard by your team, speak up. No question is too small or unimportant. It’s also OK to ask for a second opinion. Your medical team should want the best for you.

You’ll be faced with many, many decisions during the IVF process, and some will take careful thought, such as what you’ll do with leftover frozen embryos or extra eggs, and whether you want to try another IVF round if one is unsuccessful. As best you can, think through scenarios ahead of time and talk them through with your partner. There may still be unexpected choices ahead, but the more you can prepare, the better.

It’s OK not to be OK. It’s also OK to feel excited and hopeful. Your feelings are what they are. There’s not a “right” way to feel about any part of the IVF process. These tools will help learn how to tap into and notice your feelings, not control them. That starts with acknowledging your feelings just as they are, without judgment.