10 Truly Thoughtful Things You Can Do for Your Partner With UC

Good partners should lift each other up, make each other feel seen and heard, and just make life better for each other. If your partner has UC, you've got even more opportunities to do all those things. Here are 10 truly thoughtful things you can do for your partner with ulcerative colitis (UC).

Take some time to understand what UC is, how flares happen, and what treatments – specifically your partner's treatments – involve. When you educate yourself, your partner won't have to do the emotional labor of constant explanations. You're also showing them that you care. Beyond that, you may be better able to recognize when symptoms are worsening and when your partner could use support.

If it's the first time they're coming over to your place (or your friends' or parents' place), show them around without being asked and make sure your tour includes the bathrooms. If there's more than one bathroom, note which one might give them a little more privacy. 

When your partner heads for the bathroom, that might be a good time for you to take the dog out, run the garbage disposal, make a phone call and head into another part of the house, or just subtly turn up the music or the TV. Anything you can do to ease their worries about making noise in the bathroom would help.

Stock essentials such as soothing hemorrhoid pads, any over-the-counter meds they use like an anti-diarrheal and acetaminophen, and the good toilet paper that won't add to irritation. Scented sprays, candles, and matches are a nice touch, too. Ask them to take a look at what you've stocked and to let you know if anything's missing. Or, if they feel more comfortable, welcome them to discreetly add whatever else is needed on their own.

You may not realize it, but your dream date could sound like a nightmare to someone with UC. Dates that involve adventurous food experimentation or extended periods far from a bathroom might not go over well. Sit down with your partner and come up with a list of activities that would make them feel safe and secure. Be sure to include at-home dates like game and movie nights or cooking with friends.

Some people with UC deal with extreme fatigue and low energy even outside of a flare. Offer to take some chores off your partner's hands like running errands, preparing meals, and taking care of the house.

Keep the kitchen stocked with your partner's safe go-to foods and their favorite flavors of Gatorade, Pedialyte, or whatever they use to rehydrate during a flare.

Your partner might not have much of an appetite during a flare, but it's important to stay nourished. Offer them small meals that include easy-on-the-gut, low-fiber foods, such as soft fruits, well-cooked vegetables, white rice, fish, and eggs.

Flare-ups can be unpredictable. Your partner might feel fine in the morning and miserable by evening. Be willing to reschedule plans, leave early, or pivot to something low-key at home to show that you understand their health comes first.

For some couples, talk of poop, farts, and diarrhea is a nonstarter. But people with UC might need to mention these perfectly human functions so they can explain why they can't make it to an event or why they're feeling run-down. As a good partner, you can help make that conversation feel easy, safe, and normal. At the same time, be respectful of their privacy when they don't want to talk about what's going on in the bathroom and in their gut.