My Depression After 5 Months of Esketamine

Medically Reviewed by Shruthi N, MD on April 07, 2026

By Cheyenne Tontegode as told to Natalie Skowlund

I have lived with major depressive disorder for most of my adult life. I felt like there was always a dark cloud over my head that I couldn't get rid of.

I tried many different antidepressant treatments prescribed by my doctor, like aripiprazole (Abilify) and bupropion (Wellbutrin). Nothing seemed to work.

My depression was affecting every aspect of my life. I could barely get out of bed or take a shower. It made it hard for me to care for my kids. I felt hopeless, but I wanted to find a way out.

 

I first heard about ketamine treatments for depression from a close family friend. But I learned that now some doctors also prescribe ketamine to help treat depression in people who haven't found relief with other antidepressants.

My doctor had never mentioned ketamine to me as a depression treatment before. I decided to ask my doctor whether ketamine could be an option for me during my next appointment. 

I was surprised when my doctor offered to write me a referral for a ketamine nasal spray called esketamine (Spravato) that same day.

I knew I wanted to give it a try and see if it could work for me.

For me, the first step was to find out whether my insurance company would cover the cost of esketamine treatment. My doctor wrote me a referral for the prescription, but that was no guarantee. It took more than a month before I finally found out the treatment was covered.


 

I felt nervous before my first esketamine treatment. I had to make sure I didn't eat anything two hours before the treatment. I also couldn't drink anything 30 minutes prior to the visit.

I arrived at the clinic and was taken to a room with a hospital bed. Before I took my first dose, a staff member asked me questions to learn more about my health history and assess any potential risks. They also checked my vital signs, such as my blood pressure and heart rate.

Then, a nurse showed me how to spray esketamine into my nostrils. I felt unsure of myself the first time. I tried to remind myself to breathe normally to the best of my ability. The nurse stayed in the room to supervise me while I sprayed esketamine.

Esketamine treatments can feel intense, especially during the first few treatments. I often notice side effects of esketamine within minutes after spraying the drug into my nostrils. In the past, I've experienced effects such as hallucinations, nausea, and a loopy, intoxicated sensation.

Esketamine can make you feel dizzy or disoriented. So, I have to stay in the hospital bed while I take the medication and remain there for a couple of hours waiting for the side effects to ease. Thankfully, clinic staff usually offer me warm blankets, calming music, and candy suckers to make the experience more comfortable.

Once my side effects have been sufficiently eased, I can return home. Even though I live just a couple of blocks from the clinic, I need to have someone come pick me up since some side effects can last longer and make it dangerous for me to drive myself or even walk home.

During the first few esketamine treatment sessions, my doctor slowly increased my dosage to find what worked best for me.

I felt anxious about taking higher doses of esketamine, as I knew it could have powerful side effects. Luckily, the effects are temporary, and I have nurses who help me through each treatment.

For the first several weeks, I took esketamine twice weekly, eventually moving to once a week. My doctor may eventually reduce the frequency to twice a month or lower it further when they think I am ready. 

I have now taken esketamine for about five months. I noticed major improvements after my first dose of esketamine, and things have only gotten better over time.

I felt like my "dark cloud" began to lift literally after my first-ever esketamine treatment last November. A couple of weeks into treatments, I noticed healthy changes in my lifestyle and routine.

Now, I feel motivated to get up in the morning and take care of myself and my family. I notice new things I am grateful for each day, instead of wallowing in past negative experiences.

I am playing more with my kids and have started to invest in my hobbies and social life through activities such as writing and listening to audiobooks.

In general, when I spend time with my family these days, I feel calmer and less stressed.
 

I am very grateful to have access to esketamine. As I've gone in for more esketamine doses at the clinic, I've learned a few things about what works for me and what doesn't.

For example, I once dry heaved during one of my first esketamine treatments. Nausea and vomiting can be side effects of esketamine, but those effects can be avoided to some extent by planning ahead and taking an antinausea medication such as ondansetron (Zofran).

I also wish I had a slightly more comfortable chair to sit on during treatments. Right now, my clinic offers me a hospital bed. It works fine, but it can make it hard to get comfortable or sit upright while waiting the hours before I am allowed to go home again. 

I am currently taking another antidepressant medication called escitalopram (Lexapro) in addition to my esketamine treatments. Since my esketamine treatments have been working so well for me, my doctor has begun to lower my dose of escitalopram.

Eventually, I would prefer to stop taking escitalopram altogether, if possible. I'll work with my doctor to figure out if that's an option for me.

My doctor told me the goal is to stop my esketamine treatments as well. That could happen once I have been stable for some time without major depressive symptoms and my dose schedule has been reduced significantly.

Since esketamine has worked so well for me so far, I feel nervous about the idea of stopping it. I will work closely with my doctor to make sure it is safe and the right choice for me, if and when the time comes. I can also restart esketamine later if needed. 

Add WebMD as a Preferred Source to see more of our trusted content across Google Search, AI Overviews, and AI Mode